Occupational Home Program

A while ago I mentioned that I had asked the OT for a home program so that we could help Xavier at home & not feel so totally useless. That was 6 weeks ago. Today we should have been finishing Week 5 of the home program. We are only on week 3.

When I received the home program I was excited and looking forward to working through it. We had something we could work with. Diana(OT) had told me that it is graded and that it increases in difficulty each week. That part sort of scared me, but I was excited none-the-less.

Then I got home – had time to read through week 1 and I became a little flustered. The very 1st activity for week 1 I already knew was going to be challenging – It was a memory game – Xavier hardly has the vocab for the activity, much less the understanding of the activity.
I had to put an object inside a pillowcase and he had to guess what was inside. It didn’t go too well – he kept screeching because he wanted to take out the object. So he knew there was something in there – he just didn’t know to tell me what he thought it was. Thankfully the rest of week 1 went down pretty smoothly, and Xavier managed quite well.

We reached week 2 and the challenge began. The activities were not easy, some of the hand movements required were rather difficult for him – he has only recently started to copy our gestures and seldom imitates ‘twinkle little star’ – so the wrist movements required in some of the activities are tough. Due to Xaviers dyspraxia and the connection needed for movements – he may pick up a movement really easily or it may take MONTHS!

Diana suggested we take the program at his pace and if we struggle with a week, that we just re-do it until we are OK to move forward. So this is the reason for being behind on the program.

We are on week 3 and it has gone fairly ok. I have managed to identify the things Xavier struggles with so we are really working hard on those challenges.

Having the home program has helped us to identify his challenges, and even though the home program requires only 10 minutes a day – we are doing additional work with him to help overcome these challenges and others we have found. At the moment we are working on sorting & identifying colours & shapes (same objects) , memory games, wrist & finger movements, imitation, single arm & leg movements (he can easily imitate if it’s with both arms/legs) putting pictures back together (ones cut in half).

They may seem like simple concepts to others but for Xavier it’s taking a bit of time. I just have to add though, that we use a chalkboard and chalk to draw with him. He was only making vertical lines and he has progressed to trying to copy circles and drawing the odd horizontal line. At least his lines have become continous as well and not just little dots or stripes from banging on the page.

Sometimes doing the home program can be taxing when Xavier doesn’t co-operate. He may feel it too difficult a task to do so will want to wonder off – but we have also learnt that he just needs a nudge every now and then and he will work with us nicely – instead of running away. See, we sometimes felt that we didn’t want to force him to do something for fear of him having a ‘bad’ experience and then all hope is lost in trying. But Xavier just needs that gentle push and he’ll soon see how he enjoys it.

Oh and one of the best gentle nudges he has had came from his Daddy. Xavier has not sat in a bath in over a year! He now sits in the bath! We have a while to go before he will lie down in the bath though.

So while the home program highlights problem areas – at least we have progress. Whether it is as Xavier gets older or because of the work we do – we won’t know. But I’m determined to get him ready for school where he will be able to function with as little challenges as possible.

We are in his defining years – so input is essential!

 

Time for a Puppy

So, we have finally done it. We have added to our family a little Miniature Schnauzer named Mark.  I have wanted a miniature schnauzer for a while because they don’t shed hair and are great with children. Those 2 points and nothing else. (They are cute and scruffy too.)

I wanted to get a dog when Memphis was around 3 months – that was the plan anyway – but of course I wasn’t near ready then with PND causing havoc. So on Saturday Memphis turned 9 months old and we got us a Puppy.

EJ & myself have been together for 5 years and we had a cat before but sadly had to part with her because she kept scratching Xavier in the face (she wouldn’t move away) and Xavier was on all sorts of meds as Drs thought it was asthma and allergies. Which we found out end of last year – it WASN’T!

Why did we name a dog Mark? In all honesty, the thinking went something like this “well, our children have unique names so why not give the dog an ordinary name like Mark, Mark-Barks” then I said it out loud to hubby before we even had the dog. Then we got the dog and all the 30 minutes drive home we couldn’t think of any other name for him. So Mark it stays!

The bonus is that Xavier can say Mark. The downside is that all we hear is “come, Mark” “come, Mark” “come, Mark” ALL the time.

Xavier is absolutely LOVING the doggy and spends hours playing with him. Memphis likes making high-pitched sounds which sends Mark running. Marks refuge is often on the couch or outside – otherwise he gets terrorised by the boys.

Mark is also partially house-trained which is GREAT! So we have very few inside messes.

We are absolutely loving Mark and I’m so happy that it just feels ‘right’ to have him in our home! We hope he stays around nice and long. He has in his first few days with us made us giggle and enjoy having an animal around the house.

I do think people with animals are happier!

Welcome home, Mark!

Serious Friday Fun – JZ Artwork

I imagine there’s A LOT of art that causes a stir. There are many many thousands of controversial pieces of art out there.  Often the best art is that which is unconventional, non conservative, WAY out there! It gets the tongues wagging, it’s the best form of advertising!

NO ONE is free from being incorporated into art. It doesn’t matter what people call you, a plant, a mug, a politician – you could easily end up in a piece of art. Often all these subject matters make it into satirical cartoons either as a prop or the main focus.

Our President, Jacob Zuma is often depicted in many cartoons. There has also been far too many appeals against cartoons and newspapers for publishing Satire involving the President.

The new piece of art depicts our president with his ‘Manhood’ hanging out. I read that the artist does not want to comment on the art because “it speaks for itself”.

The ANC wants the image banned because “no existing person is shown with their ‘manhood’ hanging out”, apparently only when you are a Roman statue is it OK because you’re dead!

I have no idea what the artists reasoning is behind the pe.nis. I can only ask myself questions like:

Is it his stance on polygamy? If he has so many wives, I’m sure it’s not uncommon for men to think that his manhood does hang out!
Is he the advert for multiple partners in our country? And in doing so, promoting unsafe sex? (showerhead?)
Is he the picture of the fatherless* children in our country (and there are many).
Is he the picture of a confident male? Unafraid to be who he is?

*By fatherless I don’t mean he doesn’t look after his own kids or isnt’ there for them – but merely that his multiple partner, multiple wife stance can be damaging to many families. I think everyone of us know at least one man with multiple  partners.

Whatever the reason for the artist wanting to do this – art is always open to speculation and interpretation. I just don’t agree that the ANC should be jumping on their high horse so fast and wanting to BAN the image.

I wish they would focus their energy on more pressing issues. I doubt our president is being made a fool of, though some will laugh, others will engage in debate. Embrace the image and pour that energy into something useful! Don’t keep wasting our tax money on law suits!

Politics is serious business, but it doesn’t mean you have to be serious ALL the time. (And yet, somehow I feel this art IS serious).

What’s your take on this artwork?

Weighty Issues

So, I’ve been on Weigh Less now for over a month. I’ve managed to loose consecutively for 6weeks. And this week, I picked up. My first pick up. I never thought I would feel so deflated. So upset – and yet not kicking myself much either. I proceeded to add to my deflation with half a pack of mentos and Mac Donalds. I will start afresh tomorrow!

Weigh Less is really not that tough unless you struggle to eat the amount of food or to drink the water. This is what makes it tough for me. I forget to drink ENOUGH water (How I survive daily on my fluid intake – boggles me). I struggle to consume all the food and the biggest is that I struggle to eat veg at lunch time. Because it’s just not practical.

I guess being on Weigh Less I also didn’t stop eating all the sugary sweets completely, I was still eating 1 or 2 small fizzers a day – but I was still loosing. See, I justified the fizzers with the fact that I don’t take in the max amount of sugar for the day.

So, while I feel deflated today – tomorrow I will find some new energy and start again. Hopefully I can do better and undo my mess and then some.

Weight loss while breastfeeding isn’t easy – it’s damn slow. So this just puts me on the back foot again.

Till tomorrow!

Wordless Wednesday – Our little Hannibal

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Gasp! Still not Sleeping Through

Yes I did, I Gasped! Then I Sighed. At the age of 2, my Xavier is still not sleeping through!

I really thought we had it sorted, that he was getting at least a full 11hours sleep. We thought that by closing his bedroom door so that he can’t come out – it would train him to sleep through. We thought it worked! But Last night when I went in to check on Memphis at around 12:40 (to see if he was still breathing as he normally wakes between 9-10) Up popped Xavier and wanted to get out the room.

I obliged because I didn’t need his crying waking Memphis up. The only problem is that, Xavier does not sleep when he’s in our bed. What we are realising is that he probably lies in his own bed for 2hours every night when he wakes before going back to sleep! Only to wake probably around 5:30 and lay in his bed till we come open the door.

We have trained Xavier to stay in his bed at night time (which is a good thing) so that Mom & Dad can get their proper sleep. I just wish he would sleep the whole night – but perhaps this will come at a later stage. Perhaps he is not waking every night and only a few nights a week?

Memphis (as you can tell) is also still not sleeping through, in fact, he still feeds at night. I am too lazy to change this at the moment, or too tired to change it. Memphis has the vocal chords of the Cats Choir and it pierces in the middle of the night. So I give him the boob, to either soothe or feed. I know I am doing myself a disservice. But I have spoken to hubby and said to him that as soon as Memphis and I am better and over the flu, this will also have to change. And he will have to give me about 3nights and be patient so that we can get through this hurdle.

I do realise that Memphis is a different child to Xavier, he’s a much bigger boy, but I don’t think that at 8 monthshe should be needing Milk at night time! I do however need my sleep!

Memphis use to sleep so well, he would sleep from 7pm-11pm wake for a short while and only feed at 2am. This has changed somewhat. He has been waking between 9-10 every night for a while and then feeds around 12pm & later again.

I definitely have my work cut out for me with Memphis. And I will have to spend some time researching why Xavier could possibly not be sleeping through? Perhaps other Moms may have an answer for me? Perhaps your children are the same?

Gosh, this parenting thing is not always easy. We really do what we feel is best at the time, or what saves our sanity and sleep!

(Sigh)

Sleepovers

Yes, our boys are too young to be having friend sleep overs. Or are they? Would you as a parent let them sleep over at another friends house? I won’t, not right now. I’m not sure the other parents have my childs best interest at heart, nor do I know their parenting style. Perhaps it’s easier when you know someones parenting style.

However, I’m really not talking about friends. I’m talking about letting them sleep over at the Grandparents. Xavier has stayed over at my parents probably about twice or 3 times max in his 2years. And he has stayed over at hubbys parents once.

My major concern is that I know that I am very anal about the way I do things and want things to be done. I am aware of the ages of my boys and will give them free-reign depending on age and they have boundaries and limits. I do not leave my 2year old to play outside alone close to a pool – or even for too long. I always go to check. I am also very aware that the grandparents are a little more easy-going in  that regard. They kinda let the child do what they think is ok and won’t hurt. Sometimes they don’t think about my child that is around and get pre-occupied with other things. Or are unaware of the small/large dangers in & around their house.

My parents have so many tablets and beads and razors and child-unfriendly things lying around that I’m not sure I can let Xavier sleep over there anymore until this is sorted. Xavier has come home unscathed the times he has slept there but I cannot help but worry. My Mom seems to be getting a bit more forgetful these days. The other thing that bugs me is that my mom tied a balloon around Memphis’ wrist on Saturday but not with a slip-knot. It pulled so tight we had to cut it off, leaving Memphis with a red wrist and me in a VERY unpleasant mood because I told her not to do it and had removed it once already.

When Xavier slept at hubbys parents it all seemed to go fine. But it’s been a while and sadly DH’s dad is a compulsive liar, so we are slowly finding out what they actually did as his dad spills the beans. Xavier was on medication at the time and they didn’t give him the medication he needed. They disregarded his routine. And they fed him peanut butter. This may not seem such a big deal. But when I as his mother am allergic to peanuts – it’s a BIG deal! The paed had told us not to try it before he was 2. I also imagined the day that Xavier did try Peanut Butter that it would be with his Daddy in a safe area and with the knowledge of what to do should something happen.

The other shit part about my allergy is that I don’t have to touch or eat the stuff – I just smell it and I get ill and close up. It’s that bad we don’t even keep the stuff at home and Xaviers school has instructions not to feed or let Xavier touch it because I’ll get sick. Hubby’s parents ignored this – In fact they didn’t even think about it.

And for some reason – the grandparents are out to feed my child sugar before mealtimes for some unknown reason! Probably because they know how I hate all the sugar and think my child is deprived of sweets. In all honesty I rather he snack on grapes than smarties & cupcakes! Sugar does not make the children like you more! Neither does lack of discipline, structure, boundaries and routine!

I may be over-reacting I know, but I feel that only hubby and myself have our boys best interest at heart. The grandparents may love them and care for them. But they won’t care and look after them like we do at home. We do not bubblewrap our boys – but we also don’t put them in a fire-pit!

Hubby and I have decided that until such time that the boys can talk and tell us what actually goes on – there will be no more sleep outs!  Yes, we are probably shooting ourselves in the foot, but they sleep out so little it won’t make much difference anyhow.

It’s easy to go and child-proof their homes – but we can’t make their minds think the way we do.

What are your thoughts on sleepovers? Do you parent the same as your parents?

I Survived…

While I was still pregnant with Memphis I struggled with our relocation out of Joburg. After he was born I had to face the reality of PND. It wasn’t that long ago that I started on Meds – only 2 months & 3 weeks later I can truly say it’s making a difference.

I have started sorting out our house, chucking out, repacking, redecorating and it’s been fun. I’ve enjoyed it quite a bit as this was all the stuff I left undone while I was struggling and feeling overwhelmed.

Last week my hubby had to leave town and I was on my own with the 2 boys for 2days. This week I was on my own for 3days and I survived. I managed! I didn’t feel overwhelmed! I enjoyed the time and routine with the boys. I wasn’t frustrated, I didn’t scream and shout and take out my frustration on the boys. It was really really pleasant to see myself in this new light.

I have to admit and say I was lazy when it came to cooking – I probably wouldn’t have done much if I was on my own – but the boys need balanced meals! So I even enjoyed cooking for myself and the boys. (Not that they even ate that much!)

I’m not ready to give up the meds yet – even though I feel like I can – I know it’s best not to screw it up so early on again. So I will continue a little longer and consult with my Dr when the time comes.

There certainly is light at the end of the tunnel and I’m so glad I’ve started seeing it!

These are a few of our favourite things…

I have been awfully quite, I have lots to say, but also not so much to say. I’m just catching up on my reader so thought I’d join in on the MeMe that Tanya over at Rattle & Mum started.

Favourite expression/word

Xavier: Yukkie
Memphis: Dadada
Mom:   ’Kiss Mom’

Favourite outfit/item of clothing

Xavier: Hats & Shirts with Car or Dog pictures
Memphis: No favourites yet
Mom: Jeans

Favourite hobby/activity

Xavier: Riding his bike
Memphis: Opening Drawers
Mom: Redecorating the house

Favourite drink

Xavier: Juice
Memphis: Milk
Mom: Water

Favourite food

Xavier: Bananas
Memphis: Pasta
Mom: Choc Chip Yoghurt

Most overused word/expression

Xavier: “No”
Memphis: ‘screeching’
Mom: ”Leave it!”

Favourite apps

Xavier: KiddySong
Memphis: Vocal Zoo
Mom: Cyanide & Happiness

Favourite TV programme

Xavier: Teletubbies & Mr Maker
Memphis: Teletubbies (the sun)
Mom: CSI

Favourite book

Xavier: 1,2,3 Bible Stories
Memphis: Touch & fell Baby Animals
Mom: Love & Respect

Worst activity/chore

Xavier: Getting out the kitchen
Memphis: Sitting still
Mom: Cleaning spills

Latest discovery

Xavier: Putting his hand infront of his mouth when crying
Memphis: Opening Drawers
Mom: I can do it! Without feeling overwhelmed.

 

When Hearts Bleed

Last week Sharon shared her story about a rape incident  close to her heart – it was heartbreaking to read.

Today Our (South Africa) news is a flutter with another story of a Gang Rape Video.

In our country today, it is evident that we have serious problems arising out of the youth. Our country is so taken by the antics of Julius Malema and the how-manyith wife of the president instead of spending more time on the issues that are demoralizing our country at a rapid rate. (Perhaps Malema and Polygamy is part of that!)

I know these are not isolated incidences and the truth is that these types of stories are happening all the time, everyday! With our move in technology there will probably be more and more cellphone videos of rapes. And as humans we already have a morbid fascination with death and destruction – so rape videos will just become the ‘norm’  - as is when passing accident scenes.

It’s appauling to think that people want to find the link to the video and share it! The truth of the matter is that it can be considered child pornography and I can’t imagine why people would want to view it! They wouldn’t like it if it was their child!?!

One idiot on Twitter even managed to say that “seeing is believing” – I hope he rots in hell!

Our Justice system is in a serious need of a make-over and it needs to happen very fast. Lets forget about political party rallys and build more prisons, courthouses and employ more judges.  Our government needs to spend time looking at our laws are re-vamping them to make the criminals really pay for their deeds! They need to face serious and harsh consequences of their serious and harsh actions.

Sadly, this is a dream many of us have which we may never see fulfilled and very many others will fall victim to a similar horror.

It’s stories like these that make my blood run cold – I also hope and pray that my boys will never become like these animals!

May these girls find peace as they struggle through the trauma they have endured.