One of the things someone once told me when X was diagnosed with dyspraxia that it’s a label but they should never live the label.
“Your only purpose is to grow beyond the limitations you have chosen to impose upon yourself for this lifetime. “
It has taken me 2yrs and my own personal journey to completely understand what that meant. I mean, sure we know what it means… But yet we still find it difficult to fully comprehend that. It’s as if a label becomes our excuse, when it’s really just a diagnostic term used by professionals or society. And we gladly use it to judge, criticise, condemn or explain differences.
I have gained large insights by going within myself and going through one of the most profound journeys I have ever been through. It’s one that transforms my very foundations.
I myself have lived a label, one given to me by society but it matters not what society labels us as. The defining difference is whether we label ourselves as such and allow our lives to be defined by labels – especially negative ones.
The questions you should be asking yourself is “do you like the label”? “Do you want to live that label”? “Is the label who you really are, what you really want and who you wish to be”? If that/those labels is what you allow others to judge you by and what you choose to live by then so it shall be and remain.
The ultimate personal victory comes when you are able to free yourself from the enslavement of your own mind and thoughts. When you are able to forgive yourself for living with and allowing your life to be defined by the label you stuck on yourself.
Are you a battered woman? Are you a depressed person? Are you a drug addict? It can be any question you want it to be, it can be any aspect of your past or present you want it to be. See yourself as broken, battered, hurt, depressed or any other – and that you shall remain.
The choice is yours completely and fully. How you think and what you think shapes your life. You choose whether you corrupt and defile your ideals or not.
It’s about as simple as saying: as much as I have dark brown hair, so too does my son have dyspraxia. Being called a brunette is a label, but it’s not a life defining or soul destroying label. It just is – it’s what you will use to define me. Much the same as X has dyspraxia. He is not a dyspraxic he is my son, a person, his own self…He is Xavier. So he may not quite be what his peers are…does it matter? Absolutely not! It is the label that professionals use to define the differences between him and his peers.
Is it a label I choose for him to be defined by? It has been – largely due to my own thoughts of wanting to explain his differences. Why excellence may not be achieved right now.
Through my own transformation not only have I destroyed my own label that defiled my ideals but I have been able to destroy the label I have chosen for my son to live with and the one label I defined him by. It’s unfair and largely flawed because he is and we are far more than what labels are.
I am not a special needs Mom, I am a Mom. X is not a dyspraxic he is my son.
You are not your disease/diagnosis, your past, your present or your future. You are who YOU want to be. Who and what you CHOOSE.
Never again will a label define me or my boys again. Regardless of what society and professionals choose to label us by. Those labels will be just that, your labels, not ours.